Ply and Burl

You Knit What?? has got to be the funniest knitting blog I’ve ever seen. These girls find the narstiest knitting patterns out there and post them with scathing quips that make you pee your pants laughing. And thier mission is spot on — I quote:

“Look kids, we’re ragging on nasty knits here… because we ourselves are knitters, and we know that knitting a garment takes a LOT of time and effort, and it pisses us off that these people think we’re going to waste our time on this crap.”

Rock on, knittykitty & punk rock knitter. You’ve joined the ranks of my daily blog checks.

Though a little large for picking your nose, my new nostepinne has evoked the “nose pin” reaction in everyone I’ve shown it to. I finally made a ball with it over the course of a few days. I wrapped the skein around the back of my office chair and when I need a break (i.e. was procrastinating or brain dead) I wrap a few rounds. Behold, my wonky results!

I’m not sure about my nose pin. The Joann’s 40% off coupon is looking mighty good for a ball winder at the moment, what with the gappy, egg-shapped ball that came off the pin. On the other hand, the nose pin seems so much more authentic. Perhaps because its a piece of wood rather than a plastic machine? Maybe because I’m so snotty?

The newest cast member, Iggy! Shhhh…. he’s still sleeping.

How did this happen?

I’m addicted to socks.

The first time I knit them I HATED it. Tiny stitches on wooden needles ?

Locked in the office in my effort to conserve heat (it was -8 degrees here last week!), Lulu scoped out the spot most descriptive of her cultural panache: The Inbox.

UPDATE: Nixed the Greek Pullover. Would that criss cross really do anything for the boobs? No. I’ve switched to the Airy Cardigan (see right). Any suggestions for a yarn?

Remember the oh-so-cute Greek Pullover from the Fall 2005 Interweave Knits? Well, its official joined my to do list, which is turning into a never-ending sea of stockinette. But the best part? I’m getting the yarn hand-spun especially for me by The Spinning Bunny. I did a little website consultation for her in exchange for a yarn trade. This woman’s got an angora bunny — its going to be the fuzziest little Grecian sweater I’ve ever worn! And the ruffles — there’s my oft latent girly side again!

As soon as I get the yarn, photos coming!

I’m one inch into my hourglass. Had to frog it TWICE before I could really get started. Once because I changed my mind about sizes, and once because it was twisted. No matter — one inch is progress!

Last night’s couple of rows were stitched at a lecture by a mathematician cum fiber artist who has been crocheting the hyperbolic plane in order to help her students visualise it. Whoever though the hyperbolic plane looked so much like a lettuce leaf? Whoever knew what the heck a hyperbolic plane was anyway?

Looking for ways to save cash on this whole Christmas thing (ask me about Amazon!), I searched around for non-kitchsy ornaments I could make at home. And despite the fact that she sounds like a three-headed viper (according to the New Yorker), Martha Stewart came through. Here are the ones I’d let grace my Christmas tree:

Button Wreaths These are so adorable! I love the silk ribbon. (Holy crap, did I just sound like a girl? Get a medic!)

String Balls. A perfect excuse to pop balloons, peel glue off your palm, and torture the cat with string, all in the Christmas spirit!

Paper Cones . She’s going all Victorian here, but I think these would look cool using origami paper.

Paper Star. I love making accordians with paper, don’t you?

Some of my own ideas (always fabulous, of course) included origami cranes and trinkets from my travels. We hung up little wooden shoes from Holland, communist propoganda pins from the former Soviet Union, a Jesus and Mary keychain from Costa Rica, tiny flamenco dancers form Spain, and rhinestone pins from garage sales. To give a booze-cruise Carribean touch, we threw on a bunch of metallic drink umbrellas!

Sunday we bought our first Christmas tree (requisite cooing over new home together blah blah). I had to pee from the time we stepped out of the car until 2 HOURS LATER when we finally brought the thing home.

Here is Joel’s butt in the air while he cut the tree and I though about peeing:

And here is are the chrismas lights on the floor, which look all blurry because I still hadn’t peed and it had filled up my head:

After I peed, which was deeply satisfying, I tried to make pom ponms as ornaments out of bits from my yarn stash. But pom poms they were not. Instead, they came out looking like old mops tossed out by the janitor at a beer-soaked fraternity. Pale, limp, with wretched hangovers.

Here are the last bits of my garden, still lounging around the house as if it were summer.

These are the gourds I grew for Joel’s gourd banjo. Looks more like they’ll end up being kitchsy cookie jars and salad bowls.

Hot hot hot! These peppers were supposed to just “ripen” until I had time to mince and freeze them. Um, does wrinkly like elephant skin count as “ripened”?